It’s Monday, I’m Nithya Sudhir. I collect words, chase patterns, and write about whatever makes me curious.
The anatomy of a gift
If a genie appeared right before Valentine’s Day and asked me what superpower I’d like to have, I’d say it without hesitation:
The power to pick the perfect gift.
It’s Monday.
And if you’re like me and need help picking a gift or designing one, I thought I’d give you a little gift-ology to work with.
In 1925, French anthropologist Marcel Mauss wrote in The Gift that giving is never just one action, but a cycle: to give, to receive, and to reciprocate.
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The three shortcuts your brain uses to judge a gift
On Valentine’s Day especially, gifts carry emotional responsibility. They’re expected to represent feelings we don’t always know how to articulate.
According to the NRF, consumers spent a record $27.5 billion on Valentine’s Day last year. That’s roughly $188.81 per person. (That’s a lot of emotions!)
And because that’s a heavy job for a simple object, the brain steps in. It uses a few predictable shortcuts to decide whether the message feels sincere, thoughtful and memorable.
For the giver, the receiver, or anyone designing the gift, here are three things that make the brain go, “Awwwnnn.”
1. We instinctively value things more when we know a human made them.
This is often referred to as the handmade effect.
Products labeled or perceived as handmade carry a psychological signal that human intention and human care went into them.
Research shows that consumers tend to value handmade goods more, in part because they associate them with love, authenticity, and human meaning.
Studies have shown that participants are willing to pay more for products explicitly described as handmade
2. The more effort that appears to have gone into something, the more valuable we perceive it to be.
This aligns with both the effort heuristic and related concepts like effort justification
We have a tendency to judge objects that took a longer time to produce to be of higher value.
Effort signals care and investment.
When a gift feels like it took thought, time, or emotional labour to choose — like a personalized design, a custom inscription, or even a DIY component — the receiver’s brain associates that effort with care.
Additionally, the IKEA effect also describes how people tend to value an object more if they make (or assemble) it themselves.
3. We remember experiences by their most intense moments and their endings.
The brain doesn’t average all the moments of an experience.
The peak: the most emotional instant
The end: how it finishes
So the unboxing matters. The timing matters. The final impression matters.
A beautiful wrap, a surprising reveal, a thoughtful follow-up — these are memory architects.
Designing for the Heart, Not the Cart
Freddie’s Flowers, founded in 2014 by Freddie Garland, is a UK-based flower delivery subscription service that delivers fresh, seasonal flowers directly to customers’ doors.
The company has grown to deliver thousands of boxes per week and serves customers across the UK and in Germany.
On Trustpilot, Freddie’s Flowers sits at 4.2/5 with 13,539 reviews
How Freddie’s Flowers Turns Flowers Into Feelings
Instead of sending pre-arranged bouquets, they deliver fresh, seasonal stems that the receiver arranges themselves.
The box includes a beautifully illustrated arranging guide that feels personal and human. (Handmade effect)
The bouquet only becomes complete when the receiver makes it.
(Ikea effect)
Freddie’s makes effort visible on both sides:
The giver looks thoughtful because the gift arrives curated, seasonal, and “considered.”
The receiver feels special because there’s an included guide and ongoing content that signals care and intention, not just delivery logistics.
Making gifts that speak for your customer
Design for the receiver, not the buyer
Optimize for the emotional experience of the receiver.
Ask: what will this feel like to open, touch, use, and remember?
Make effort visible
Personal notes, thoughtful packaging, small rituals, or guided experiences signal intention.
Turn the receiver into a participant
When people assemble, arrange, finish, customise, or interact with the gift, it feels personal even if it was purchased.
Design the opening moment
Unboxing is emotional choreography. Texture, pacing, layering, and presentation shape the “peak” moment.
Design the ending, not just the product
What does the experience close with? Pride? Calm? Beauty? Usefulness? The end is what stays in memory.
Let imperfection live
Slight irregularity, softness, or creativity makes the gift feel made-for-someone, not mass-produced-for-everyone.
A truly thoughtful gift is far less likely to end up in a dump. And vintage, upcycled, or handmade good might be valued even more.
Wishing you a wonderful Valentine’s Day this weekend! 💘
And if that genie does show up, you can smile and say, don’t worry, I’ve got the psychology covered.
Right!? 😛
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See you next week,
Nithya
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